My Big Day At McD's

I had a pretty busy morning today. I woke up late for work and floored it. I made it to work 10 minutes late and ended up being in a rush to nothing.A long day of watching creepy looking crack addicts look at every pair of Timberland boots then try to match them up to dumb looking graphic t-shirts and old ladies bitching about chipped ceramic cups on clearance for $1.00 at a discount department store. As I listened to the radio and spaced out watching these bizarre characters in the store, my mind began to wander. What happens when mice die? Are there funerals? Do they go to a mouseoleum. Could I make a living off of the Craigslist "Free" section just picking up free stuff and going to a pawn shop? Then I picked up my mobile phone with Internet capability and started on one of my latest obsessions. The Wiki how random function. This site boggles my mind. Almost any obscure character from weird Japanese cartoons,movie characters,and beyond has a brief tutorial on how to "be" that character. Other tutorials on how to make chocolate milk, how to be yourself, how to do long division, how to open doors, how to breathe and the most bizarre and ridiculously simple things are there.I feel like its some sort of underground, almost perverse sect of the population that are into obsessively writing Wiki how's on anything. I'm debating on writing a few myself: How to drink 12 beers, lose at Metal Gear Online, and make a toaster strudel with out burning it. or How to watch numerous episodes of Heir 2 tha $treetz on Boston cable access while your girlfriend is sleeping and wakes up telling you to shut that crap off, but you manage to turn it down just low enough she cant hear it and goes back to sleep. My mind continued to wander as I finished reading another wiki how article.A radio ad snapped me out of my hypnotic state. A commercial for the new McDonald's McCafe line. Today was smack dab in the middle of a week long promotion for a FREE McCafe from 7am-7pm. I debated on trying one vs. going to Chipotle again. As I watched more weirdos roam about the store and a woman do the "Purse twist" with every hand bag we had in stock, I decided to go to McDonald's for my lunch break at 330 or so. At that moment, I committed to it. As I almost always do I plan my food order out in detail before I arrive at the place so I leave no doubt in my mind of what I am doing, and can get my order out quickly to expedite satiating my appetite. I pulled into the McDonald's parking lot to see a few familiar sights: A long line at the drive through, plenty of older people walking out of the door to the handicapped spaces, and numerous pimp ass cars. Usually early model, sensible ,fuel efficient, Japanese import sedans with lots of flashy shit on it to make it virtually disguised so you don't know its a early model,sensible,fuel efficient Japanese imported sedan that usually is not flashy.These cars had spinning rims, tinted windows with "Angelito" and "El Salvador" written in a gothic olde tyme font, intake vents above the wheel well with chrome detailing, a spoiler, one car had rust spots and had a matte red finish, the other car had a gnarly color scheme that seems to change color as you walk by it, almost how a hologram changes color as the light hits it differently.Locking my sky blue, dented, early model,sensible,fuel efficient Japanese imported sedan that is not flashy, I double checked my pockets for my bill fold and was ready to dine finely on the best McDonald's Framingham has to offer.

I enter the McDonald's and order my Large #2, seconds later I am on my way to the soda fountain with my tray and cup. No incident.

I take my tray to a corner booth and open my phone to wiki how and read as I eat. I start picking up conversations of the people sitting around me and listen in. One couple is just talking about needing a new pool cover and the options around the McDonald's to buy one. And then I start listening to the two men behind me. Business men. Talking about some sort of contract signing they had today. Guy A says to Guy B "I'm more of the technical type of guy, the one that can tell our clients how things get done, the time frame, you, you're more of what we need and you were able to go in there and talk specifics, hammer out the deal, negotiate." Guy B sits silent as Guy A goes on " Don't worry about Williamson, don't believe what you hear. Everything isn't what it seems with him, he doesn't know the partnership that we need and the importance of a united front when negotiating big deals" Guy B still remains silent. Guy A says" I spent 15,000 to spend 5 days with the former CEO of Hallmark, and you know what he said to me ... he told me "You're with co workers 8 hrs a day, you don't have to like them, but you have to be friends. You re working towards a common goal 8 hours of every day." Guy B is silent and Guy A starts talking a little more quiet and serious and tells Guy B "I'm going to tell you this, and I want you to say this to me right now: What ever relationship we have, we're partners in this, and we have to be friends and wont let anything come between us" Guy B remains silent as Guy A doesn't give Guy B a chance to respond and says " Let's sign this contract, close this deal and go big with the next account" I start thinking to myself how gay the whole conversation was, and also aren't business deals made on golf courses, private jets, cigar bars , steak houses, and big office board rooms and not McDonald's with a 4 year old running around with a Lego Batman Happy Meal toy and my fat ass taking shots of sweet and sour sauce shoveling fries into my mouth?

I notice a sign promoting the free McCafe promotion. I decide that I am going to try one before I leave. I go up to the C.A. Cowboy behind the counter and put my order in for the Ice Mocha McCafe. He punches the order in then goes to this large stainless steal machine and flips open a laminated, illustrated instruction manual. He starts pulling levers, spinning cranks and after a minute or two my McCafe is done. He hands it over and I exit. I take a sip. Holy shit the stuff is strong. It was a bitter Mocha tasting latte. It wasn't very sweet, and I wasn't too wild about it. But,I needed caffeine and hell it was free. I make my way to work and I finish it right after I punch back in. Right away I feel the urge to piss. I figure OK, just like coffee. I go to the bath room and am done. 20 minutes later I got to piss again. OK, I figure I had a Diet Coke and a friggin McCafe. Then I get a feeling in my stomach like I may have to visit the Situation room and make a visit to my friend Tay Zonday so he can spin a Hot Track. It does not feel good at all. I go to the bathroom and take another piss. That's 3 pisses in about an hour. I start worrying and have an unnatural feeling in my stomach. I don't know if its the McCafe or just McDonald's in general. Then I'm not sure if the caffeine hits me but my head starts feeling weird, my body follows suit. I walk around the store a few times seeing if it was just because I'm tired or spacing out or what. I make my way back to my office, trying to sneak past any co-workers. One stops me and asks me how lunch was, I explained I got the new McCafe for free, and was not a fan as now I was feeling like garbage. She asked if it was very Mocha tasting, I answered "It needed more sugar or something, its was bitter as hell" I get to my office and sit down. I take off my sweat shirt and am sweating. My foot is tapping like crazy, my head is feeling weird and my stomach feels awful.I lifted my hand up and my fingers were twitching. I hung my head in my hands and I thought "what the fuck did I just drink" I thought my eye balls were going to burst. I could feel my heart speeding, I thought I could see my veins pumping blood through my arms.I muscle through the rest of my day. I will not be doing McCafe again, I'll stick to Monster Energy Drinks, Coors Light, Diet Cola and Iced Coffee.Please...tell me about the fucking golf shoes.

My VOCAB : Haitian Hotel

Hyde Park

If you've ever been in and around Hyde Park, Ma you've passed by numerous Haitian Hotels. Although some Haitian Hotels house Haitians, not all Haitian Hotels have to house Haitians to be considered Haitian Hotels. The Hatian Hotel is usually just a single apartment in a building or complex that houses a shit ton of people. In Hyde Park this is typical of three family homes having 1 unit of the triple decker housing anywhere from six (6) to thirty-five (35) Haitians. Hyde Park has a high concentration of Haitians immigrants in the community. The 32 unlimited bus on the T runs from the streets of Port-au-Prince to Forest Hills via Hyde Park Ave. Most Haitian Hotels can be spotted by hand fulls of Haitians hanging around a front yard, yards that have not been maintained, numerous hackney licensed vehicles/taxis in the driveway. Haitian men with blue tooth headsets (formerly just headsets) roaming the yard in button up shirts jeans and big brown Jesus sandles, yelling at their children and wives. On Sundays families dressed as if they were attending a wedding, and only going to mass. Other parts of Boston have Hatian Hotels where habitants are horded in like sardines. College area apartments, China town, South Boston etc etc. A hotel in Haiti... but not a Haitian Hotel

Music Review: NOW! by "The Civix"

I got an advance copy of the 10 track European debut album "NOW!" by electropop punksters The Civix featuring ex-members of "Greta and her Jetta" and "The Saab Mob". A brief history of the band: After spending a couple years on the underground European scene, some where between punk and electronica "Greta and her Jetta" and the "Saab Mob" starting playing more shows together and drawing more crowds as a team, rather than competing for the same audience. "Greta" front man Alejandro Schuster has been quoted as saying "...we all started going in the same direction, and our fan base grew. Both bands started playing out together and eventually we all started creating together." After a few singles and hidden tracks on each bands respective albums featuring the other bands members the line up was set swapping some of the members around. Schuster remained on vocals, occasionally backed up by guitarist Yves Ruggiero("Mob") , Pieter Del Mar("Mob") would drive the beat as the drummer, Frederick Rasmussen("Greta") took on the duties of synthesizers, sequencers and drum machines, Arturo Venman("Mob") holds down the low end on bass, and Reid Von Kohler("Greta") shreds and keeps the crowd's attention with brilliant riffs, articulate picking, and high octane stage presence as lead guitarist.
Now after I heard about the super group forming and touring through out Europe, I got excited as a fan of both bands, hoping they would release something more than a one off song on a compilation, or a few downloads on my space. After signing to Broken Water records in early 2008 they went into production on "Now!" in May. October 14 is the date for the slated official debut release across Europe for "The Civix"

The journey through "Now!" starts with a 2 minute long intro. The intro is a mash up of "Greta and her Jetta" and "Saab Mob" songs, in a way signifying the unification of the two. The mash up was a collaboration between Rasmussen and the albums producer Gar Von Neuss. After the short intro the album goes right into "Home is where you are" Right away Von Kohler shines with a buzz saw riff coming through your stereo. As the song builds Schuster goes from telling a story right into screaming with his unique vocal style and incredible range. The full song is an excellent start, although the synth is a tad over produced. The song winds down with an unforgettable bass line as the rest of the instruments and vocals drop out. The bass line picks up speed a bit then changes to the bass line of the next track titled "Running lines, doing circles" Venman's bass plays beautifully off of Rasmussen's synth work. The synth and drums start to sync up. As the guitars come in with an intense biting sound Schuster puts everything at peace with a harmony over the instruments and his range is really displayed as he sings lyrics about recreational drug use, turning into abuse and spilling over into work and losing everything with out realizing it. The song powers through 4 minutes and ends as your radio starts shaking prior to exploding.

Track seven seems to be the masterpiece of the record. It has a softer start than the previous songs. "Nobodies & nothings, know things" Kohler and Ruggiero come in with dueling acoustic guitars as a soft drum beat comes in. Venman starts in with a droning bass line that entrances as the guitars seem to fade into the background of the prominent bass. Electronic drums and synth come in. Rasmussen really gets to show his talent in this track as the music starts an odyssey which comes back around after 4 minutes to Kohler and Ruggiero's guitar playing. The same opening riff is now with electric guitars with plenty of crunchy distortion. Schuster has some vocal work on this and it fits in, and seems more like an instrument than vocals and lyrics. The high light of the album in my opinion.

Track 8 is a song a little out of the usual style of the band. It is a catchy up beat pop punk song derivative of some of the more popular bands of the moment, Fall out boy, Panic at the disco and My Chemical Romance. Schuster over sings, the song is over produced, minimal electronic influence, more emphasis on harmonics and guitar work and Venman's bass almost disappears shadowing Ruggiero's chords. Possibly an attempt to show their range for any prospective record execs in America , or maybe a poor attempt to try their hand at pop punk.

Tracks 9 and 10 are each a live performance of "the Civix" line up doing a new interpretation of a"Greta and her Jetta" and a"Saab Mob" song respectively. The same two songs featured in the opening mash up to bring everything full circle.

I left a few tracks out of the review because I felt they were songs that met the baseline expectations of this band. The songs were basically filler. I'm hoping for the album to find enough success here in the states for a tour so I could see the live show. So keep an eye out for a Oct 14 European release. Try to track down an online order, or the import bin at the local music store (possibly Newbury Comics) and give this new and exciting band a listen.

my chipotle experience

Working in the greater metro west rt 9 area I have a large assortment of eateries. Sushi, burgers, pizza,chain restaurants, expensive steak houses,fast food so on so forth.I work in a large shopping plaza and have 45 minutes for break every day. That limits me to ordering ahead and fighting weekend mall traffic, or eating in a Taco Bell. I was excited months ago when I saw a Chipotle Mexican burrito bar was coming soon on the opposite side of the parking lot. Having enjoyed Chipotle once or twice before, I was excited knowing it was the shit and coming. I've experienced a lions share of Mexican style food and burritos. Taco Bell, Qdoba, mom and pop burrito joints in downtown Boston,Acapulco's,stands, Tina's microwave burritos,Anna's taqueria, Sunset Cantina ,a small taqueria in Waltham, Carl's and the list could go on for decades. I took my first journey to Chipotle Thursday at approximately 2pm.I was excited, the smell of burrito and burrito components filled my nostrils. My pupils dilated. I was ready, I get to the front door and there was some fucking heifer with a clip board and coupons talking to some one blocking the door way. I figured OK..it was grand opening day, maybe some promotion for filling out a survey. I had no interest in waiting so I tried to sneak around her. The cow opened her mouth, her utters swayed as she mooed out " do you have an invitation?" In the back of my mind I thought this was some sort of exclusive burrito club and felt rejected. In a half joking way I reached into my pocket and pulled out a $10 and said "yea...isn't this what people need to get in?" Har har Unamused, Bessie huffed a huge sigh through her snout that was missing the cliche gold ring and said " Today is an invitation only opening. Tomorrow is the grand opening to the public." What the fuck? The customer is always right, I had $ and a desire to check their place out. I went to Brueggers next door and got a Herby Turkey sandwich and went back to work somewhat fuming. When I got to my place of work one of the employees made it know to me that on Wednesday, my day off the lovely people at Chipotle came by and gave out 50 free burrito/private opening invitations for the employees and that they had set 4 aside for me. A crushing blow to my nuts. As I ate my Herby Turkey on a bagel softwich.

Friday:

At approximate 230pm I went on break. Arrived at Chipotle 5 minutes later for attempt #2. This time went a little better, I was not greeted by an over zealous bovine bouncer at the door. The line was reasonably short, however most people were new to the world of burrito construction,ordering and consumption. A 10 minute lecture on the difference between roasted chili corn salsa vs medium tomatillo green salsa (which is not very green) vs guacamole which is green but not a salsa. And black vs pinto beans was over heard between a Chipotle shredded beef slinger and some old geezer.

My turn is up. Having an infinite amount of time to study,memorize and become quite versed with the menu, I stepped up and spit out my order with exact order and precision. Chicken burrito, black beans,chili corn salsa little bit of sour cream and cheese. I was greeted by a red haired round red faced rotund Irish woman with a southern accent. while I was rattling my order off she interrupted me at every syllable asking me if I was sure , and told me my other options. I was trying to keep things moving smoothly and she bogged me down. I was annoyed.she could tell after she told me that the hot salsa was hot and mild was a little bit and medium was in between. As I approached the point of sale I noticed a small printed out sign that says " starting at 3:00pm ,the first 300 customers will receive a free shirt, drink and a coupon for a free burrito on their next visit". I looked at my cell phone clock. 2:48. I asked if I could get that stuff 12 minutes early...the supervisor running the register area said sorry. 3:00pm means 3:00 pm. I was not happy, I asked for my soda cup and went to the soda fountain. I inspected the choices. Typical Coke, Diet Coke, Lemonade, Root Beer, Sprite and water. I filled up on Diet Coke, then saw they had a variety of Tabasco brand hot sauces, that served some relief. I took my burrito in the plastic basket and soda and sat in a corner on a fairly comfortable chair. On top of a marble table w/ stainless steel trim. Looking at the menu and checking out the front line.lo and behold the same red haired round red faced rotund Irish woman with a southern accent.was not interrupting any one else who was ordering their burrito. And it was getting close to 3:00 pm. Shirts started appearing. Coupons were being handed back with change and cups were stacked up and handed out to all who came. Sitting with my burrito in defeat I figured that the heifer from Thursday pointed me out for being a dick with a lame joke trying to get in. A wanted poster or "bust this guys balls bulletin" was handed out with my picture. Saturday: I went back again. With back up. A co-worker of mine. He isn't a big burrito guy but I sold the burrito at the place being top shelf. I explained that the Taco Bell burritos or the 50 cent burritos from 7-11 freezer were nothing compared to Chipotle's. This shit was the real deal. So on the walk over he asks what they had for meat and I gave him a run down of the menu. I got my order in my head. Shredded beef, rice black beans, grilled vegs cheese and guac. He took some time and decided on chicken and such. As we approach the outdoor patio I see the red haired round red faced rotund Irish woman with a southern accent. grilling me. I figured since she was inhaling her burrito I'd have no problem in line ordering. I see the staff....no one I had seen the previous day. The people running the show looked of questionable citizenship and legal work age. I had to explain my order three times and point to each ingredient due to a possible hearing problem on their behalf or a language barrier. My burrito came out up to snuff, and I sat on a stool at a table with Dave as two C.A.Cowboys scratched scratch tickets next to us uncomfortably close and taking up as much room as possible. Tuesday: Trip #3 went worlds better.I walked in, made small talk about weather and local restaurants as my order was put together and I peppered in chicken, black beans, grilled vegs and green salsa. There was no line, no issues regarding me getting my order. I got iced tea which was phenomenal. The burrito was on point. Maybe the grand opening weekend kinks were worked out.

Ill be going back again.

My VOCAB : C.A. Cowboy..

If you have been to the south side of Waltham, or Allston Food and Spirits , odds are you have seen a proud C.A. Cowboy.

A Central American Cowboy,is probably Central American. They congregate in groups of 3-5 usually. Enjoy , almost exclusively Corona. By the case. Or 30s of Bud which any C.A. Cowboy could carry 2 at a time. At any time they can be seen in a front yard, or sitting on the lowered gate of a pick up, or on a stoop embibing a finely crafted Mexican beer. In the Allston wine and spirits area, most C.A. Cowboys also buy numerous scratch tickets at one time, and proceed to walk incredibly slowly out of the exit while closely inspecting their ticket as they scratch every so gently. Taking as much time as as they can and as much room as they can which seems to be a trend in other areas such as super markets and department stores.

Most C.A. Cowboy men wear trucker hats, flannel coats ,t shirts and jeans, tight fitting polo shirts with soccer shorts and a hat, or a shirt with no sleeves, and straight legged jeans.Most men have shaved heads, bowl cuts , or boys regular

The misses of the family, if in tow, usually is too large for the clothes she is wearing. She demonstrates a F.U.P.A. and is 2 to 3 times the age of the target demographic for the fashion she sports. (Usually Tello's) Her hair is fashioned in a way that is pulled back tight in a pony tail, bleached to an unnatural shade of white or dyed to an absurd shade of red.

On Friday and Saturday nights... especially on Moody Street, and around the Allston Food and Spirits area, C.A. Cowboys strut their stuff with full on Cowboy hats, Big Belt buckles cowboy boots,and jean jackets with wool lining.